Romance can be daunting. Sometimes, a gentle push in the right direction is just the thing you need to finally take the plunge.
For Haverford sophomores Mariel and Brendan, it took the second-best Marriage Pact match on campus to turn their situationship into something much deeper. (Credit to them, we’re confident they would have figured it out on their own. Love always finds a way).
I spoke to Mariel and Brendan one summer afternoon, their arms draped over each other as they took me back to the beginning of their friends-to-lovers story.
Mariel:
We met the day we moved in. We were suitemates. He was in a double, two doors down. I was already there because I’m an international student—I’m from Australia—and we all got there a few days before, so I was there when he first walked down the hallway.
Brendan:
We were in the same orientation group, so we kept running into each other. My room had no AC, so it was an oven in there. Mariel kindly offered to let me chill in her room in the cool air. That was the first time we really talked and got acquainted. She showed me pictures of her dog and everything.
Their instant comfort and ease with each other admittedly made it difficult to determine the border between platonic and romantic. After Brendan admitted his feelings early into their friendship, he and Mariel continued to take things slowly.
Brendan:
I had never been in a relationship before, so going into college, I was thinking that I was supposed to meet someone there. It was kind of a naive, wide-eyed sort of thing.
So when I realized that I really enjoyed talking with her and spending time with her, I ended up throwing my hat in the ring, so to speak. So I let her know that I was interested, but it was also really early on, and maybe a little ill-advised. I jumped the gun a little bit.
But after that, we just stayed pretty good friends and kept hanging out. It just stayed in the back of my mind.
Mariel:
It wasn’t that I didn’t find him attractive, but I had just gotten out of a relationship and was having some alone time. But we had started to become really good friends. He has 0 movie knowledge, so I was helping educate him.
Brendan:
Somehow, my childhood just skipped over all the classics and basic Disney movies.
Mariel:
We watched a couple of Disney movies, and my family’s really into the Marvel Universe, so we got into that a little. And as time went on, we started getting a bit more close and a bit more flirty.
Brendan:
There was a little bit of time where I was like, “I think there’s some flirtiness, but I can’t really tell.” So I just assumed I was hallucinating. There were some interesting mental gymnastics going on. It was a “probably not, but we’ll see” sort of thing.
Turns out, Brendan’s hunch was spot-on. Boundaries began to blur even further as the semester came to a close.
Brendan:
Fast forward past some late nights, lots of movies and time alone together, and playfulness with each other that I really enjoyed.
Mariel:
I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, but I proposed a friends with benefits situation. And he took a whole month to tell me yes.
Mariel and Brendan chatted continuously via text over the break. After spending a few weeks at home mulling over Mariel’s proposal, he came to a decision.
Brendan:
To be fair, I’d never been in a first relationship, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted. But we kept talking a lot over winter break. And even if it wasn’t what I first pictured, spending more time with Mariel was something I wanted. So I figured I’d give it a shot and see what happened.
We were both very aware that we were testing it out, so I felt pretty comfortable, even though I had some worries. We were still a little bit tentative, but got much more comfortable with each other.
Mariel:
It felt really safe, because we were best friends by then. So we had complete respect and trust in one another.
Mariel and Brendan were weeks into navigating their new relationship when the Marriage Pact hit Haverford’s campus around Valentine’s Day. Both held things loosely as they filled out the survey, hoping at the least to make a new like-minded friend.
Brendan:
When I was filling out the questionnaires, this tiny thought in the back of my head was like, “I wonder if I got Mariel? Nah, the odds are too slim.”
Then, the impossible happened.
Mariel:
I was walking back from something late at night, and I was on the phone with my two closest friends who are also international students. They were like, “We just got our emails, you should check yours!” I opened my email, and it was Brendan, and I just went silent. Both of them were like, “Oh my god, it’s Brendan, isn’t it.” And I was like, “How did you know?”
I just thought, “Who’s watching us?” It’s not a big campus, but it was still so surprising. And not only that, but we were a 100% match, and the second best on campus.
Brendan:
It was insane. I was working on my math homework decently late at night, grinding away. And I get this Instagram message from one of Mariel’s friends. She was totally stirring the pot, like, “Brendan! Brendan! Have you checked your match yet?” I had totally forgotten about it, honestly, so I was like, “What are you talking about?” And she was like, “The Marriage Pact! I got this random person, I wonder who you got!”
I thought it was really strange, because it was so out of the blue. So I thought something was off. I opened my email, and I saw the name Mariel. And I was like, “No.” I couldn’t believe it. It was insane to me.
And then I get a message from Mariel, being like, “By the way, have you, by chance, checked your email?” And I was like, “Yeah, I got you!”
Mariel:
I could not believe it, I could not believe the percentage, I could not believe the ranking. We were both like, “What is happening right now?” We went through stages of disbelief, and then mild disappointment, because we wanted to meet new people. And then it was like, “Holy shit, we’re being spied on. How did they know?”
Stunned by their flawless match, Mariel and Brendan spent copious amounts of time digging through their answers to the survey questions.
Mariel:
We definitely spent a lot of time talking about the questions. I think we’re pretty different as people, with different interests. He loves fishing, I love dancing and watching movies. But we’re pretty similar in all the fundamental ways. We even agreed on the number of kids we wanted.
Brendan:
Two.
Mariel:
We both come from two child families.
Brendan:
For the question about running a red light, the answer for both of us was totally no. We would sit there and wait. Both of us have enough anxiety that we would instantly kill that thought if it came to mind.
Mariel:
We’re very similar politically, in terms of family values, and ambition. We both have things we want to achieve in life, but are a bit hazy on what exactly they’ll be. We both want to do well and do good in the world.
Brendan:
There was also one about taking a spontaneous trip and abandoning responsibilities, and our answer was mostly no. Both of us enjoy the idea of being spontaneous, but we also really hate letting people down. When we say we’ll do something for someone, that’s a big thing for both of us.
Even in their differences, Mariel and Brendan’s pairing made perfect sense.
Brendan:
At the most basic level, you’re really neat. And that’s good for me, because I’m not. I’d ideally like to be, because I’m always losing things. The second I put something down, it's gone. But when I’m around you, you can always find where things are, even in my own house.
Mariel:
We have different senses of humor in some cases that compliment each other as well. I’m much more of a literal person, and some things just fly over my head. But he always manages to make me laugh.
Brendan:
Yeah, you make me laugh all the time too.
Mariel:
Sometimes unintentionally.
Brendan:
Well, if it works, it works.
Unfortunately, Brendan and Mariel found themselves cooped up in COVID isolation just days after their match (in the midst of midterm season, no less). The silver lining, of course, was getting to enjoy each other’s company.
Mariel:
We were isolated together, in what felt like a big frat house. There were a lot of us in there, so we just stuck to our own corner of his room and tried to be alone.
Brendan:
There was just so much going on, and it was really indescribably draining on our mental and physical energy. And we couldn’t go anywhere, and we were just trapped. But I think by hanging together, we managed to get through it and not go insane.
Mariel:
We were both very anxious because it was right before spring break, and had a bunch of midterms going on. We would sit next to each other when we had our tutorial sessions and classes online, just for moral support.
We got Brendan’s roommate to deliver my little picnic blanket to us. The only times we could be alone were when we snuck down into the basement and had picnics together.
Brendan:
With chocolate.
Mariel:
Obviously. It was the only place that was quiet, and it was really nice.
Mariel and Brendan parted ways for spring break—and upon their return, love was in the air.
Mariel:
We got out of COVID land and immediately went on spring break. And when we came back, things were just different.
Brendan:
Mariel told me “I love you” for the first time. And I said “I love you” back. And then we went to sleep. And the next day, I was just thinking, “Does that mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” I was pondering it all day.
So in the evening, we hung out again, and I actually asked her, “So, are you my girlfriend?” And she was like, “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, or are you telling me?” And that’s how it happened.
Mariel:
We started dating on the 15th of March.
Brendan:
The morning afterwards, it was a beautiful day, and we spread out a picnic blanket under this beautiful magnolia tree.
Mariel:
We were just laying there together playing some music. It was just one of those perfect spring days.
Brendan:
I sent my parents a picture of the two of us, and I was like, “I think I got a girlfriend.” It was such a cute picture and a lovely moment.
The pair spent a magical spring together reveling in warm weather and new romance.
Mariel:
We had the celebration of Holi that spring, and one of my close international friends is from India. So we all went in support and had a lot of fun. We spent the whole time chasing each other in a cloud of colored dust. We’ve always been very playful with each other, and that brought out that side of us. We get a little crazy.
Brendan:
We get very competitive. So it was a fun way to chase each other around with an excuse.
Mariel:
We’re very openly affectionate, and totally comfortable with each other.
Though their hometowns fall on opposite sides of the globe, Brendan still made ample time to visit Mariel in Australia over the summer.
Mariel:
I did go home for a month this summer, and he came for one of those weeks. He got to meet my family and experience an Australian winter, which is not winter at all.
Brendan:
Not even close.
Mariel:
The first morning, we went down to one of the creeks and went fishing, which was fun. He also got to spend some time with my family.
Brendan:
Your family was awesome. So funny and warm. It was really cool to see where she grew up. We spent a lot of time exploring the area, going into town, eating a bunch of food. There was so much good food there.
Mariel:
We also went to the wildlife sanctuary one day.
Brendan:
I got to pet a kangaroo for the first time.
Mariel:
He also saw koalas, and he wasn’t a fan. Which I’m not sure how I feel about.
Brendan:
They’re just a little ugly up close. I mean, think about it.
Mariel:
They’re adorable. They’re a symbol of my country.
Brendan:
Well, there’s one thing we disagree about.
Mariel:
We went to Sydney one night too. There was a festival called Vivid Sydney, where they put lights up on all the big buildings. We had this beautiful hotel room that overlooked the Sydney Harbor and the Opera House. It was amazing.
At the time I spoke to them, Mariel was visiting Brendan’s home in Connecticut—the first time she had met his family since they made things official. They exchanged tender, loving glances as they revealed what made them fall for one another.
Mariel:
I’ve always admired your kindness and thoughtfulness. You’re just the sweetest person. I make cutting jokes sometimes, and he knows they always come with love. You just have the best heart.
Brendan:
I think the most beautiful thing about you is how much you care about your friends, and how you’ll absolutely fight tooth and nail for them. You go to so many lengths, even if it’s to your own detriment, because you care so much about other people.
Mariel and Brendan only have one remaining question.
Mariel:
Who was the number one match on campus?
Brendan:
That’s been our little inside joke. We’re second best.
Mariel:
But we’re pretty content with the way things turned out.
Got a Marriage Pact story of your own? DM us on insta or twitter, @marriagepact.