Why you shouldn’t flake on that first date, even if you want to: Katie & Miguel

Katie and Miguel holding hands and smiling

Think of your college campus. Big or small, there are bound to be people you may never meet. Whether they’re in a different program, go to different clubs, or just live on the other side of the quad, there’s always the possibility that the person you don’t bump into often could be the one you’re meant to be with.

Katie and Miguel, recent graduates from Boston College, didn’t recognize the names they were sent the night they were matched. Their friends didn’t, either.

Miguel: It was funny because we had never really met before Marriage Pact.

Katie: We didn’t really have any interlinking friend groups, which is weird at BC because it seems like you know each other by a certain degree of…you know, the six degrees of Kevin Bacon or something, because it’s pretty tight-knit.

Katie, an Environmental Studies major, and Miguel, a nursing student, approached the Marriage Pact in a similar way when it first arrived on BC’s campus — a fun thing to fill out with friends.

Katie: One of my friends was super in the know of everything that happened at BC, and she sent me an email with just a link. No header, no anything, and she texted me like, “oh, you have to fill out that thing I just sent you.”

Katie then saw the BC Marriage Pact Instagram page, wary of the prospect of a one-to-one match.

Katie: At first it’s kinda intimidating, but I just bit the bullet and did it, because why not? You know, really, what’s the worst that could happen?

Miguel: I think especially because of COVID, it was so hard to meet new people, so I was intentional about filling it out. I didn’t really have expectations, but I filled it out with the hope of meeting my match.

Katie: Yeah, I answered honestly, and was kind of like, whatever happens, happens.

When the initials came out toward the end of the week, Katie thought she recognized Miguel’s as a friend of her’s, but didn’t actually know the name that followed suit. The next thing that surprised her was the match score — her and Miguel’s match quality was in the elusive 99th percentile.

Katie: I was freaked out, like, ‘do I wait? What do I do? How do I even contact him?’ So I looked him up on Instagram and debated for a couple hours —

Miguel: What? Really?

Miguel’s laughing surprise at Katie’s past hesitance drew a smile from her.

Katie: You think I requested you right away?

Miguel: …No.

Katie: But I was like, alright, I’m gonna request to follow him.

Miguel recounted a similar story: receiving the match and not wanting to immediately respond, in an effort to keep it cool.

Miguel: Then I saw her follow request and was like, ‘oh, okay, that makes it easy.’ And then I waited a little bit and DM’d her.

The two chatted for a while before setting up their first date: a run to Dunkin Donuts before breaking the ice in a dining hall. Only the most New England college student thing ever.

On top of the Marriage Pact being a completely new phenomenon to the two, as well as the usual first-date nerves, Miguel recounted a feeling of anxious anticipation due to the COVID restrictions surrounding their first meeting.

Miguel: With the masks, you don’t really get a good sense of what each other is like for at least a few minutes until you sit down. I was definitely like, ‘okay, let’s see how this goes.’

Katie shared a similar feeling of anxiety: Before the date, she was sitting in her 11:00 am class, worrying to the point of nearly bailing on her match (another confession that drew feigned shock and a laugh from Miguel).

After the two made it to the dining hall, they sat down to talk and get to know each other, occasionally comparing friend groups as Miguel waved to other nursing students he knew. Before either of them knew it, three hours had passed, which they only noticed when Katie realized she was nearly late for her next class.

A few more dates followed over the course of the next few weeks, even culminating in drinks at Katie’s apartment with her friends. When Miguel told his friends about the invite, they were quick to psych him out just a bit.

Katie: A lot of my friends got their matches but never met up.

Miguel: Yeah, mine too, so my friends were like, this is a big deal! I thought, ‘oh, it’s just drinks and meeting friends’, but I got so nervous…but I’m glad I went.

When asked why they thought they were so compatible, they listed a few similarities: They loved to be outside, had similar personalities, values, and senses of humor.

However, it was more of what they couldn’t describe that seemed to be the basis of their connection.

Katie: I can’t even explain how… we just like, go together.

Miguel: We can really match each other’s energy. We can both be, like, really loud, and a lot of our friends are like, “I didn’t know you could be louder,” but the two of us together…

Katie: Oh, yeah. My roommate Emma was like, “oh my god, Katie, you are already the loudest one, and when Miguel is here, you just hype each other up.”

Miguel: But then we can also be quiet and enjoy those nice moments. I don’t know, I think what we enjoy in life is very similar. You know, like having fun, our family, friends, the things that we like to do, the places we like to go…

The last of which reminded them both that two even shared the same dream travel destination:

Katie: Before we met up or anything, we were doing cheesy little get-to-know-you questions, and then he asked, “What’s the number one vacation spot that you want to go to?” And immediately I said New Zealand, that’s where I want to go. And he was like…

Miguel: New Zealand.

Katie: The exact same answer that I had!

Miguel: We’re just really similar, and in things where we’re not, we complement each other.

Katie: We both have very similar passions, I would say that’s probably why we had such a high match.

Since graduating from BC, the two have stuck together, with Katie remaining in Boston to work in the mental health field, and Miguel returning to his home state of Connecticut, working as a nurse. The two spend the weekends they aren’t working in each other’s company, just as happy to camp together in Acadia and see Hadestown in NYC as they are to sink into the couch for a movie marathon (Harry Potter, most recently). No matter what they do, they make the most of their time together, distance be damned.

Miguel: I think looking back, I’m just really glad that I did it. You know, it felt like a risk to put myself out there, but honestly… well, not a big risk…

Katie: We got a big reward. It’s something that you wouldn’t think initially that you have to do. We’re both pretty outgoing people, so it’s kind of like, ‘why would we do that?’ But honestly, with COVID, we’ve said before, we don’t think we would have ever met. I don’t think we would have done this if COVID wasn’t a thing, you know, because we like to go out and like meeting people. I think we would have been doing other stuff, maybe dating other people senior year. And we wouldn’t have met. So, we’re very grateful.

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